A crushed heart of gold

(This poem was in my drafts since months and I have no idea why I never shared it here. I must say though, before any negative criticism makes its way into the comments section, that I am NOT a poet. Poetry has never been my forte, admittedly, but I did try writing a few poems in the last two years, mainly due to the urge to try out something different and experiment with my writing.)

***

He gave her a look, so deeply cold,

Eliminating memories, all them old,

A look that said, O girl behold,

To lords of evil, my soul is sold,

That gaze she tried so hard to hold,

Silently, watching his moods that rolled,

His anger paused itself to mould,

Into a hatred, so wild, so crushing,

Tearing apart, that heart of gold.

***

 

Image credits: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9KHa_nSeVfE/maxresdefault.jpg

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War of depression

More than half of the population nowadays is suffering from the terrible mental ordeal called “depression.” According to science, depression is a product of stress and anxiety. It gives rise to various kinds of personality disorders. It changes the thinking of a human being. The power of depression makes it even more perilous than a common person can imagine. It physically changes the size of the brain. How dangerous this depression is!

Depression is like a monster that awakens within you at the oddest of times, when you least expect it to. It is a sadness that weighs you down. It is a feeling that temporarily but frequently darkens your world. You would want to enjoy a certain moment along with others, but this depression will make sure you do not enjoy it at all. This feeling makes it seem almost impossible for a person to live their life like they want to. It attacks a person in the most monstrous of ways. It makes you loathe, it makes you hate, it makes you force a smile you don’t want to show, it makes you cry at the weirdest of times, it makes you envy the successful and happy people and it makes you totally different from others.

The number of people prone to depression is constantly on the rise. There are a lot of reasons behind this gradual increase. Depression is not restricted to any age or race. It is a disease that can attack anyone; from the beggar sitting at the side of the road to the model posing for Vogue. What makes a person depressed? Sometimes it has something to do with material issues, like lack of money, or failing business. Or it may have something to do with a childhood or family trauma, loss of a loved one etc. Whatever the reason, the effects of depression can be irreparable at times.

Depression is a strong force that most often, drives you towards negativity, even suicide. But it is possible to fight it off and ultimately repel its attack. It won’t go away, but you can decrease its power and control over you. Each and every human being who suffers from depression carries this opposing power within them. But not everyone is fortunate enough to realize that they too, hold the strength to stand up to this dejected feeling. Most people feel that this depression would never let them function like a proper or normal human anymore. They feel that with the advent of this lingering melancholia in their soul, there is no glow of happiness left for them to experience. I say different.

The only enemy of depression is a genuine happy moment which is very obvious, so to speak. But how to find happiness when you can’t see happiness surrounding you anywhere? Happiness is not a huge mansion that you would suddenly catch gleaming under the morning sky. It is actually, the faint glow of light at the end of a pitch dark tunnel that you have been exploring since days. That faint glow is ephemeral though. As soon as you reach it, move out into it, it will vanish. But, it will open a new door for you, a new area to observe. It shows you a different path and it is a guiding luminescence. Such is the power of happiness! But what do half of the people suffering from depression perceive it as? They become seized by the sudden absence of the faint glow. They become so absorbed in that light that they don’t bother to see what it illuminated for them.

To fight the depression, surround yourself with what makes you smile. What is that activity that makes you forget what you are sad about? Is it arts? Is it music? Is it cooking or gardening? Is it simply reading books or magazines? Whatever it is, make the most out of this distraction. Turn that depressive feeling into a productive strength. Work on your skills whenever you feel a powerful emotion. Work on yourself, on your personality. Immerse yourself into something that would eventually fade depression into nothingness and blow it into that abyss you fear so much.

***

Image credit: cce-wakata.blogspot.com

Hold it, you’re a “kill joy”

99

 

You’re a kill joy.

Yes YOU.

Why do you have to just butt in with sickeningly depressive verbal thoughts every time someone shares their happiness with you?

Why do you have to decapitate their moment of glory and bliss with the axe of melancholia?

Why do you act like the black-magic trick that vanishes their open mouthed smiles by punctuating what they tell you with your never ending sighs?

Why do you have to brandish your hate, possible ill-fate at their face & block their cheerfulness with morbidity every time they try to take a turn in life?

There is a special place in- , nah, I’m not even going to tell you where you belong. Doesn’t matter to you anyway, does it? As if it’ll ever change you.

You know what I think? People like you are God’s test for us. Yeah. You’re just born for our “use”. And we know how to deal with dirt like you. We won’t scrub you. We will ignore you even exist. We will ignore your unkind uttering and keep patience close to us. That would rot your insides even more. That would actually burn you up, then at last, maybe, you’ll know where you’ll end up after we’re through with you.

We will surely do so. And just keep this secure in that brainless skull of yours: if you even once dare say “the world doesn’t care about me…” that would only mean ‘more burning.’

Cindered memories

ashes

 

A soul is filled with guilt so deep,

Waiting for conscience to take a leap,

To end the sorrow and the pain,

To stop the never ending weep.

Did everything to place the heap,

Of all the sins ‘n’ the creep,

Cause now they have nothing to reap.

War In Solitude

Everyday and every night,

My conscience witness an ugly fight,

Without bullets, canons or blood,

But, a war with equal might.

The good ‘n’ evil, the sweet ‘n’ bitter,

Each trying its best to reach the height.

One killing hopes, other fanning strength,

Both believing that they are right.

As one silences the scream,

Other propels a deepening fright.

Every time when I view this storm,

I loathe the darkness, I envy the bright.